


Love, Simon AU

by Thats_me



Category: Love Simon - Fandom, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-06 18:09:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 6,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14062503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thats_me/pseuds/Thats_me
Summary: Love simon AU that alternates between Simon and Bram’s POV.~be warned: I kinda suck at summary’s so don’t judge~





	1. Simons POV

“K, but I don’t think you understand.” Nick said defensively  
“You’re right, I don’t understand. But the idea of a hotdog being a sandwich is catastophic.”  
We sat in a booth at the Waffle House after a soccer game along with Abby, Garret, Leah, and Bram. All of whom were just as confused as me.  
“There’s just no freaking way.” I finish. Bram shifts uncomfortably in his seat.  
“Think about it for a minute. You’ll know I’m right.” Nick fired, he was smiling though.  
“I’m sorry, but there’s just no way.” Abby said definitely  
“Fine.” Nick mumbled. I hadn’t caught the rest of what he had to say but it sounded rather unpleasant.  
“Shit I’ve got to go.” Garret said jumping to his feet “I’m supposed to be grounded.” He said smacking enough money to pay for his food on the table before darting out the door.  
“Don’t worry I’ll drive myself home, in my nonexistent car. Thank you very much.” Bram said in way that was both soft and sarcastic at the same time, to where Garret had been sitting. I laugh softly at that. It’s so weird for him to talk so freely. He’s never really said anything around me, always letting Garret do the talking. But it felt kind of nice to hear him be so carefree.  
“I can give you a drive if you want.” I say before I can think twice.  
“No that’s okay, I live kinda far away.” He protests  
“Well how are you going to get home if you don’t catch a drive?” Nick asks with a smirk.  
Bram opens his mouth then closes it like he wants to say something but can’t bring himself to.  
“Okay.” He says finally.


	2. Brams POV

It’s not that I’m ashamed of were I live. It’s just that I live in the poorer part of town, and I just wasn’t ready for Simon to see that.  
So after driving Leah and Nick home he turned to me and asked where I lived. I froze for a moment. He was good looking. Maybe I could just give him a fake address and walk the rest of the way?  
But before I can I blurt out my actual address. yay...  
“Okay.” Simon said indifferently has he turned on his blinker.  
It was quiet for a while, although not an uncomfortable silence.  
“Holy shit!” Simon yelled as he slammed on the breaks. A white car cuts him off and speeds by. I fly forward, but he stuck his arm in front of me, stopping me before I hit the dashboard. I think I’m blushing.  
“Did he not see the stop sign?Or the speed limit?” He yells, the he turned to me “You okay?” He says in a much softer tone than earlier. And for a moment I can’t speak. For a moment my lips are frozen and my eyes locked on his  
“Yeah I’m fine.” I say, pulling myself together.  
“Okay good, I promise I’m not trying to kill you.” He laughed as he turned right  
“Well as long as you aren’t trying to, we’re okay. And if I do end up dying tonight I’ll know you didn’t try to kill me.” I smile, he laughs a little at that  
Then something hits me: “How do you know where my street is?” I ask “I’m not interrogating you, it’s just kinda far away from your neighbourhood.”  
“I used to live on one one of these side streets.” He says, eyes glued to the road as he weaved throughout the neighbourhood “Yeah, my dad owed some money so we took what we could afford.” I’m too stunned to talk.  
“Oh.” I say like an idiot. “My parents are divorced, so it’s just me and my mom.” Who works 12 hour shifts to keep the house, I want to say but don’t. I don’t know why, but something about Simon makes me want to open up. Part of me hopes he’s Jaques.  
“Oh my freaking god.” Adorable “you see that house, right there, the blue one? With that giant peace sign on it? Well once upon a time that was my home. The peace sign is new.” He says kindly  
“Whoa, really? The people that live there aren’t the biggest fan of your father, they claim he was always in control, never really went with the flow. That they can sense the bad energy in the walls. Whatever the means.” I say quickly  
“My Dad in control? He can barely work the tv!” We laugh together.  
Then Simon pulls right onto my street.  
“What number was it again?” Simon asked slowing the car down.  
“115.” I reply casually  
“K.” He responds  
All too soon we’re in my driveway.  
“Thanks again, do you want to come in for a while?” I ask before I can stop myself. Simon glances down at the time on the dashboard before answering, 10:45. Part of me is mid-panick attack waiting for him to answer.  
“Yeah sure I’ve got some time.” Simon says.  
“Okay then.” I say as he kills the engine. I fumble for my keys as we walk up the stairs.


	3. Simons POV

Bram and I stand at the kitchen island sipping iced tea. His house is small, but well cared for. The house is over flowing with love, the walls are lined with family pictures, artwork, and a couple inspiring quotes. I take a large swing of iced tea, exhales, turn to Bram and say:  
“Man, that is some good iced tea” in a deep voice Bram chokes in is own drink.  
What the fuck man?” He laughs  
“I’m just expressing my undying love for tea that has been iced.” I say casually.  
He’s beaming. And undeniably cute. A little peace inside of me feels a little bad about feeling this way about him without Blue knowing. The rest feels relieved to laugh.  
Wanna watch Tv? He asks after a moment of silence.  
“Sure.”  
Somehow we ended up watching 4 weddings. And somehow him and his mom don’t obsess over reality tv shows.  
“It’s gonna be Jenny.” I say as the limo pulls up.  
“No way man, it definitely Bella.” He replys  
“No freaking way. The food at her wedding was awful. There no way she’ll win.” I counter  
The man walks out of the car and Jenny squeals with joy.  
“Told you.” I smile. I could care less about who wins, it’s just nice to see Bram.  
“Anyway, I’ve gotta go.” I say checking my phone for the time  
“Okay, thanks for the drive.” He says turning off the Tv.  
“No problem!” I yell over my shoulder, grab my keys and I’m out the door.


	4. Simons POV

It’s not that I dislike Bram. It’s the opposite, that I like him too much. And he doesn’t know I’m gay. I also feel bad for blue. It almost feels like I’m cheating on him. I don’t know why, we’re not even together. I just feel bad.  
So this morning when I get a text from him asking if I want to hang out I lie. I say I’m busy, that I’ve got plans with Leah. But then I felt bad. So I ended up inviting her over anyway. Just so I could melt my guilt away.   
“Hey.” She says as she walks through the door. We don’t bother to to knock anymore. We’ve known each other for so long that there wasn’t a point anymore.  
“Hey!” I call from the living room. Not looking up from my phone, while sliding a chip in my mouth. My parents were out with Nora so it was just us.   
She rounded the corner and entered the living room, then plopped down on the couch her resting legs on top of my own. She picked up the remote and flipped through the channels.  
“Oh! I love this movie!” She gasped. I looked up from my phone to see she had turned on princess and the frog.  
“How mature of us.” I say putting my phone down as she stole some chips. We don’t talk for a minute, watching the movie.  
“Hey Beaver!” She called after noticing him laying on the chair across from us. He thumped his tail tiredly, then closed his eyes and fell asleep.   
I really should tell her. I just don’t want things to change between us. I don’t want to lose what we have. I don’t want to lose her.


	5. Brams POV

He’s got plans with Leah.  
They spend so much time together I wonder if there’s something between them. Honestly, I do t know what I was expecting. I doubt Simon is gay- or considers me as a friend. A school friend at best.  
I mean really, we never talk. We never hang out. That could be because I freeze when I’m around him, but we’ll never know. I’ve made a pact with myself that I won’t text him again. Not, unless he texts me first- and if that does happen I have to wait at least five minutes before responding.  
I don’t want to look as desperate as I am. I’m embarrassed now, and I’m all alone in an empty home.  
Mom came home late last night. Then left early this morning to go back to work. She says she’s trying to pay off her student lones, but working at the clinic is doing next to nothing.  
She busts her ass just to put food on the table. Sometimes I just want the guys to see what it’s like. To live this way. When half the money you make go’s toward paying for food and gas. When you barely see your mom, except for Sunday’s when she’s too tired to do anything. When you only see your dad once every two weeks because he’s to busy with whatever lady he’s dating now to take care of you.  
I think half of them would be dead within a day. The other half an our. Maybe a couple would survive, just barely though. But they don’t know what it’s like. And part of me doesn’t want them to.  
There’s another thing about Simon. Despite our differences we both grew up the same way. Poor.  
My thoughts drift to Jaques and how he would feel about this. He would be so upset to know that I felt this way about someone else. He would be disappointed, disgusted, crushed.  
Part of me hopes he’s Simon. Part of me desperately wants it to be him. I tell myself to stop thinking like that. When it’s not him I’ll be disappointed. I’ll have gotten my hopes up.  
God, I wish I could just stop thinking about him. It’s never going to happen, i tell myself. He’s never going to think of you like that, I beg myself to stop. I still can’t.


	6. Simons POV

After school, I decide it’s time to email Blue. I haven’t heard from him in a couple days and I’m craving the safety of his emails. I don’t have much to say. And I can’t say too much. But I have to say something.  
_________________________________

Hey, I was just wondering how you were. I hadn’t heard from you in a couple days, so I decided to make sure you hadn’t been murdered or something. 

\- Love Jaques

_________________________________

send.  
Damnit, could I be anymore stupid? No. Freaking. Way. 

 

Later that day I feel the undying urge to text Bram. I know I shouldn’t. But I give in. I text him. Like an idiot. Nothing much, I’m just invite him to see a movie with Nick and I on a day I know Nick is busy. Oops.


	7. Brams POV

Despite my best efforts I text him back immediately. Screw the pact. We’re hanging out god damnit. Wednesday after school.  
I check my email, hoping to hear from Jaques. Refresh it once out of disappointment and there it is! An email!  
I’ve reached a whole new level of desperate. Oh well.  
I laugh at his email. Hes got this way of turning things around in a way that always makes me feel better.  
I push that thought from my mind and reply.  
_________________________________

No, I’m yet to check being murdered off my bucket list. So you don’t have to worry about that. I’ve just been busy lately, and haven’t had much time to myself lately.  
Sorry about that. I hate to think I made you feel neglected.

\- sincerely, Blue

_________________________________

send.

My phone buzzes and I glance down at it. It’s Simon. Nicks not gonna make it.  
Despite my best efforts, I smile.  



	8. Simons POV

We watched “Game night” which was absolutely hilarious. Seeing Brams face light up with laughter felt relieving in some, messed up, way.  
Now we sat in my car as I drove him home once again- less awkward then the last time.  
Bram didn’t seem to be able to meet my eye. I wondered why, but didn’t make much of it.  
He lives twenty minutes away from me and thirty minutes away from the theatre so the drive would total up to 50 minutes for me. But that’s okay.  
“If it’s easier I can just get a cab.” Bram suggests nervously, as if reading my mind.  
“Really it’s okay, I don’t mind.” I confirm, smiling.  
“Thanks.” He mumbles.

I pull into Brams driveway. When he doesn’t open the door and leave I turn to him, confused.  
“Simon, I have something very important to tell you, okay? But you can’t tell anyone.” Bram says out of the blue. He refuses to meet my eye. I feel my heart pumping so fast I think it might explode. Anxiety washes over me and I’m left feeling exposed.  
“Okay, yeah, whats up?” I ask in a steady tone that doesn’t match the way I feel. There’s a long pause and I sway in my seat. I’ve never been good with suspense and now was no exception.  
“I’m gay.” He whispers  
No freaking way.

“Me too.” I say pretty indifferently, like it’s no big deal.  
There we go. I’m out of the closet. I can breathe.   
I’m okay.


	9. Brams POV

At first I don’t understand what he said. At first I’m too nervous to process the words he said. I don’t know why I said it. But it felt like I would explode if I didn’t tell someone soon. So I told him. And he told me.  
I’m in shock.  
He sounds so casual. I can barely string two words together and he’s so normal about it.  
“Oh.” I say, still in shock.   
“Yeah... I don’t really know how to do this whole confrontation thing, but your the first person I’ve told so like you said please keep this to yourself.” He says looking directly at me. I’m the first one. Wether it was a run of the moment kind of thing or something he had thought long and hard about I don’t know. But still, I’m the first person. Me.  
“Yeah, you’re the first person I told too.”  
He seems a little off. I can’t put my finger on it but something about him makes him seem uncomfortable.  
“Wow, what a bonding moment.” He laughs, sitting back in his chair. I laugh with him. And maybe I’m just uncomfortable and that makes the laugh fall easily from my lips but it’s still a laugh.   
“Yeah it seems to be.” I say still laughing  
“Okay then, I’m going to leave the car in the least awkward way possible. Bye, thanks for the drive.” I say and step out of the car.  
“Bye.” He waves.  
I walk inside my house and will myself not to look back. He pulls out of the driveway, and go’s home.  
Before I know what I’m doing I’ve pulled out my laptop and I’m emailing Jaques.   
_________________________________

Great news! Im out of the closet. I told my friend today, and he was okay with it. Completely and whole heartedly okay. 

But I’m sorry, I’ve developed feelings for someone else. I’m sorry.   
Please don’t hate me.   
I think we should stop whatever’s happening between us, Jaques. It just doesn’t seem fair to you.

\- Apologetically, Blue.  
_________________________________

send.  
He’ll hate me forever.  
But the way I feel about Simon is overwhelming my senses.


	10. Simons POV

I can’t believe I told him.   
I barely know him.  
But he told me first, that has to mean something.  
I open my laptop to confide in Blue, just to find an email from him. I read through it.  
Again.  
And again.  
And again.  
Holy shit.   
It’s him.  
I can’t freaking believe it.  
There’s no freaking way.  
I’m so confident it’s him I can’t stop what happens next.  
_________________________________

Bram?

_________________________________  
I debate sending it for hours. I can’t bring myself to but I can’t make myself delete it.   
Questions flood my mind, and the dam just broke. Who’s the guy he likes? Do I want it to be me? What if it’s not me? Oh god what if it is me? How do I feel about him? Is it me? Should I tell him in person or through email?   
This is why we kept our identities a secret.  
He obviously doesn’t know it’s me. That much was evident just from him sending the email.  
Well, fuck.  
I’m all in.  
I drop my index finger down on the button.  
send.


	11. Brams POV

Im awake, 5:15 and I’m awake. This is hell.  
I fell asleep after sending that email, dreading the reply.  
Well that’s not entirely true. I turned off my computer and muted my phone, dreading Jaques reply.  
I didn’t sleep well last night. I felt like a monster. Jaques has opened up to me and I had stabbed him in the back. But was there really a better way? A better way to say things were over?  
I should have at least thought before I sent it.  
I crawled out of bed, feeling like shit. And slowly opened my computer a single email popped up.  
Damnit.  
For a while I couldn’t bring myself to open it. Stress envoloped me.  
Finally, I squeezed my eyes shut and opened it. I opened my eyes. A single word flashed fire my eyes.  
My name.  
Simon. He’s the only one it could be. He’s the only one that knew these things. Oh god.  
I hadn’t expected it to be him when I sent the email. I’m not prepared.  
Was he disappointed that it was me? Was he relieved? Does he know I was talking about him? Does he feel the same way? What if he doesn’t?  
I slam my laptop shut, get dressed and slide into the kitchen.  
Mom is sitting at the island. Reading the paper and eating her cereal. She’s still wearing her PJ’s.  
“Hey, mum” I say. She nearly jumps out of her seat. Mom turns around sees me and calms down.  
“You scared me.” She exhales “What are you doing up so early?”  
“I couldn’t sleep.” I say truthfully.  
“Want some?” She asks holding out the cereal box.  
“Sure.” I say and grab the box. I feel today’s pressures on my shoulders. I can’t let mom know. Not yet. She’s not ready. I’m not ready.  
We eat and talk. Laugh and smile. Honestly, it’s a good start to the day. But then she has to go to work. I tell her goodbye. I say I hope she has a good day. She says it back to me.  
The stereotypical relationship.

 

I walk for ten minutes to ware the bus picks me up. My thoughts drift to Simon. I have to talk to him today. I owe him that much. I ,at least, owe him that much.  
I get on the bus.  
I feel so fake. Like I’m just watching the events that surround me. Like I’m just stuck in this skin that isn’t mine.  
I get off the bus.

 

Turns out I had to wait until after school to talk to Simon. Our schedules didn’t match and I had a soccer meeting at lunch.  
I found him by his locker, it made sense he was there, and casually approached him.  
“Hey.” I say from behind him.  
He turns around, his eyes dripping with confusion. Oh god, his eyes. All the confidence I had gathered seemes to melt away.  
“Hi” he responds, still confused.  
“We need to talk.” I say to his nose, not meeting his eyes.  
“I think so.” He says throwing his backpack over his shoulder. “Not here.” He says walking off.  
I scramble behind him. Trying to keep up in the crowded hallways.


	12. Simons POV

Where am I freaking going?  
I told Bram we wouldn’t talk at my locker surrounded be people. I thought he’d understand that I meant not at school, but no. He didn’t catch that part.  
I turn left, straight, left, and I’m out the doors. Bram stumbles out behind me. I walk over to a very tall tree and lean against it.  
Bram follows.  
I don’t say anything for a minute. I don’t know what to say.  
“How long did you know it was me?” He asks shyly, staring at the ground  
“After you sent your last email.” I say looking at him, but he doesn’t meet my gaze.  
Damnit I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have let him be. Then we would at least be friends instead of whatever the hell this is.  
“So you’re Jewish?” I’m so stupid. If I could shoot myself in the foot right now I would.Bram looks up then nods.  
“And black, and gay.” He’s smiling  
“Hell of a combination.” I reply with a grin.  
“Tell me about its” His voice almost sounds carefree. It’s so easy and light, but there’s something buried deep beneath its layers.  
I stop smiling and he folow souts.  
“Listen I don’t want things to be weird between us. And I know you like that other guy. So if you just want to be friends that’s okay. And if you just want to say we’re friends but we’re not actually friends, that’s okay too. Whatever your comfortable with.” I wonder if I sound as nervous as I am. I wonder if he can hear the panick carving my soul.


	13. Brams POV

Friends? I didn’t wake up at 5:15 in the morning to be friends. How could he possibly think that that’s what I want? Is that what he wants?  
No I don’t think so, if he did he wouldn’t have let me know that he knew who I was.  
“Umm- Well- if it okay with you do you want to go out some time?” I stutter before ripping the bandaid off. I’m suddenly overpowered by fear, what if he doesn’t like me like that?  
“Sure.” He says, beaming  
I mimick his expression before continuing.  
“Also if you wouldn’t mind not telling anyone about us just yet, I’d appreciate that. I don’t want to hold you back from coming out, I just want to come out in my own way. And-“ I fumble for words but he interrupts me.  
“Bram I completely understand, it’s okay.” He smiles softly. He’s so sweet. And cute for that matter.

“Okay then, I’ll text you later.” I smile like an idiot. He doesn’t seem to care. He seems just as happy as me.  
“Sounds like a plan.” He’s blushing. Thank god for my complexion or I might be too.  
“Okay then.” I say and walk towards my bus.  
Holy shit.  



	14. Simons POV

Oh my freaking god.  
Did that just happen? What the actual fuck?  
I walk to my car and notice Abby, Leah, and Nick standing beside it waiting for me. How could I forget? I’ve been driving them home for over a year.  
“Sorry I’m late, I got held up in class.” I say, unlocking the car.  
“No problem, this is still faster then taking the bus.” Buck says, sliding in the back seat.  
“Yeah.” Leah agrees sitting next to him.  
“Anyone up for coffee?” Abby asks  
“Sure.” I say pulling out of the parking lot. Am I acting casual enough? Too casual? Can they tell something is going on? I hope not.  
“Simon, you Okay?” Abby asks  
“Yeah, I’m good.” I say looking both ways.  
They move on and talk about Mr. Myers’ absurd socks. Today they had a beautiful picture of Mona Lisa with a handle bar moustache. He claims they to be true art.  
“The usual?” U ask pulling into the drive through.  
“Yeah.” Abby says typing one her phone  
“Mm hmm.” Leah agrees  
“Yeah, but with a blueberry muffin.”  
“Really? Blueberry? Out of all the muffins you chose blueberry?” Abby hounds.  
“Hey, I like what I like.” Nick shrugs  
“Shhhhhh.” I say pulling up  
“4 iced coffees, one with milk and a blueberry muffin please.” I say to the speaker.  
The barrister calls out the price and I drive up the window. The others slide the money they owe onto the dashboard I had my own fee to the pile and hand it to the man in the window who in turn hands us the tray of drinks and Nicks muffin. I hand the tray to Abby who passes two to the back and leaves two upfront for us. I pull out of the drive through and back onto the road.  
Everyone’s quiet for a while, chugging their coffees while Nick inhales his muffin. “Guys,” I start everyone looks up from their phones.   
Oh god what am I doing? “I’m gay.” I say in the most casual tone I can manage.  



	15. Leah’s POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I usually tell the story from either Bram or Simons POV, but I felt like Leah suited this chapter better.

What?  
He clears his throat. He’s uncomfortable. I don’t blame him.  
No ones talking.   
“How long have you known?” I ask. Shit I should have let the awkward silence be. I shouldn’t have said anything.   
“I think I was thirteen.” He trails off.   
Thirteen. Five years. Five years of party’s, movies, coffee, waffles, dog walks, confessional moments. And still I didn’t figure it out. I’m an awful person. A bad friend.  
“Have you told anyone?” Nick says stiffly.  
“Just you guys.” He says and turns his blinker on. His voice is tight. He diverts his eyes.   
He’s lying.   
I don’t push. This is his thing. He gets to chose.  
“Well thanks for telling us.” Nick says leaning forward.   
He’s just as stupid as me. We both need to keep our mouths shut.   
“Well now we can talk about boys together.” Abby jokes.  
She’s kidding right? No ones that stupid. Not even me. Not even Nick. To my surprise Simon laughs. I don’t know, maybe it’s a nervous laugh.   
“Okay Abby, here we are.” Simon says pulling into her driveway   
“Ok, thanks.” She nods.   
How am I even supposed to react? How does he want me to react? I should know this. I’ve known him forever.  
“So, Nick: what was this mornings dream.” He looks in the rear view mirror.   
“You’ll never believe it,” he starts “so I was in this room-“ I zone out.  
How could I not know? It makes sense though. He hasn’t really had a serious relationship in the past 5 years. I feel so horrible for not knowing. This secret must have been eating him up. He’s kept it to himself for so long.   
I guess I understand. I never told them about my OCD. I’ve tried really hard to conceal it. I’m sure it’ll come out eventually.  
I can’t believe I didn’t know. How could I not now?  
“Bye Nick.” Simon calls  
“See you later man.” Nick pats him on the back.  
Simon reversed into my driveway. He opened his mouth to talk but I cut him off.  
“No your not getting rid of me that easily.” I confirm. He leans back in his seat and sighs.  
“Look, there isn’t much to talk about.” He’s exhausted.   
“Simon, I’m not going to hound you or convince you that you’re not gay. I just wanted you to know you can talk to me. I’m sorry I haven’t been a great friend lately.” I’m talking too fast.  
“No it’s not that! You’re great. Trust me , you’re awesome. Don’t think you’re not.” He says, meeting my eyes  
“Okay well that’s all I had to say.” I whisper and walk out of the car


	16. Brams POV

How soon should I text him? Like should I do it as soon as I get home from school or is that too desperate? What is the appropriate amount of time to wait until texting him? Because every second is killing me.  
And what the hell should I right? I’ve been in contact with Jaques for months, but now that I’ve given him a face it seems harder.  
Should I wait until he texts me? I said I would text him so let’s stick to that plan. Good idea. I think.  
I pull out my phone. What Should I say? This is too stressful.

I decide on something simple. I say hi. What else could I possibly say? I wait a while before sending it. I’m determined to not look as desperate as I am.  
I turn on the TV and flick through the channels. My phone buzzes and I dive towards leaving all of my dignity behind. Oh well I didn’t really need it anyway.  
It’s Simon. I waited too long and he texted me. I feel my stress melt away.   
I open the message.  
~~~  
Hey, u free at 7? We could go get burgers or something.  
~~~  
  
I answer quickly and fumble with the keys.  
  
~~~  
Yeah, sounds good. Meet u there?  
~~~  
  
My heart is pounding so fast I think it might stop.  
  
~~~  
Ok.  
~~~  
Okay. We’re good. Everything is good. Okay, I’m good. The text is good. My heart rate is good.  
Fewf  



	17. Brams POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I’ve had a couple very important things I had to handle. I should be wrapping this fanfic up soon.

Do I qualify as a bad person if I show up to a date 25 minuets early? I don’t even know why. I just didn’t want to be late, and-  
Simon Spier walks through the door.  
I check my phone. He’s 20 minuets early. I can’t help the butterflies swarming in my stomach. I feel a blush creeping up my neck and spreading across my face.  
At first he doesn’t see me. He probably expected me to come at 7 like we said. But no.  
And when he does see me his face transforms from confusion to relief.  
“Hey.” He says sitting down  
“Hi.” I say stiffly. Why am I like this? Can’t I just be calm and casual like him?  
“So, we both have an unnatural tendency of being freakishly early?” He laughs, his laugh is adorable.  
“It seems so.” I chuckle back. I’m so boring how does he like me?  
We’re quite for a while and then the waitress comes over to take our order. We both order cheese burgers.  
I can’t help feel both anxious and excited when our hands touch as he stacks our menus on top of each other before handing them to the waitress.  
“How’s soccer?” He’s not making direct eye contact, but that’s ok. Baby steps.  
“It’s going good so far. We’re the best in the district.” I say, trying desperately hard not to brag  
“Nice.” He exhales.

Just as uncomfortable as me.


	18. Simons POV

Bram figits with his utensils. Clearly uncomfortable. Same.  
“What do you think happened to that girls hand? Over there,” he points “it looks like she was burned.” Bram notices  
“You’re very observant.” I note  
“Sorry.” He says and diverts his eyes  
“No don’t apologize. It’s not a problem. At all. It’s cute you notice the small things.” At this he smiles and blushes. I’ve embarrassed him? This is an exceptionally stressful date.  
“I came out to Nick, Leah, and Abby.” I say after moment. He smiles again. God, I love that smile.  
“How’d it go?” He asks  
“As good as it can I guess. Leah seemed uncomfortable.” He raises his eyebrows “not that she wasn’t okay with it, she just felt off about not figuring it out within five years.” I say quickly.  
“Well that’s good.”  
“You know what my dad said yesterday? ‘A boy like you must have three girlfriends’ I nearly peed myself laughing.” He smiles, but it’s fake. Painful.  
“They act surprised when we come out, but they never think to ask.” I say softly with a light smile. I reach across the table and hold his hand.  
“Tell me about it.” He says and squeezes my hand in response.


	19. Simons POV

All in all it was a pretty good date. I survived and that’s all that matters. We left the table and abandoned how empty dishes and went up front to pay. He paid, I tried to convince him to allow me to pay but he refused. He’s literally perfect.  
We walk out the front door and and I turn to say goodbye.  
Just as I turn he raises a hand to my cheek and kisses me. Without hesitation I kiss back. I cup the back of his head. His lips are soft and warm.   
Slowly we pull back.   
“I was going to say good bye, but I like your response more.” We laugh.  
“We’ll see you at school.” I says sweetly  
“Bye.” I say and hop in my car. My lips still tingling from where he kissed me.   
I smile despite my best efforts. And I don’t stop. All the way home I smile.


	20. Simons POV.

That’s it.  
Today’s the day.  
I’m coming out to my parents.  
I’ve got this.  
I can do this. Maybe.  
I walk downstairs and find my mom sitting on the couch watching TV, alone.  
“Where’s everyone else?” I ask  
“Out getting groceries.” She smiles.  
“I see.” I say as I drop down on the seat across from her.  
“What if”’s And doubts run through my head a mile a minute. Oh freaking well. Rip the bandaid off.  
“Hey mom?” I say and she looks away from the TV.  
“Yeah?” She asks, her brows furrowing together in concern. There’s a long pause where no one speaks and I feel like my heart is about to jump out of my chest.  
“I’m gay.” I say at last. I exhale and wait for her to answer. She seems to be debating her response.  
“That’s perfectly okay. Don’t you dare think I love you any less because of it." She says the last part with fiercely.  
I laugh softly instead of talking back.  
Something seems to get her attention and she looks alert.  
“How... How long have you known?” She questions  
“About five years.” How many times are people going to ask me that?  
“Five years. Wow.” She looks a little upset. Probably for the same reason Sarah was.  
“Oh mom... I already told the my friends. Just Sarah, Abby and Nick.” She looks crushed. Shit I probably shouldn’t have told her that. “It’s not that I like them better then you. No don’t thunk that. It was just easier. One day I’ll grow up and get new friends- but I’ll always be stuck with you. I wanted to hold onto who I had always been.” I smile a little.   
“Okay.” She sighs.  



	21. Brams POV

Here we go. I’ve got this. Okay. I shake out my arms and roll my neck in preparation.   
I’m coming out.  
I realized after my “date” with Simon that there was no avoiding it. I’m gay. People will have to learn to live with it. So will I.  
My mom walks in the front door. I check the clock it’s 10:30. She said she’d be home early. Whatever she’s home now.  
“Hey hunny! Did you eat?” She asks while pulling off her shoes.   
“Yeah mum. There’s some leftovers in the microwave if your hungry.” I reply as casually as I can   
“Oh thanks!” She smiles, big and happy. Even after a 13 hour shift.   
“Hey mom...” I say as she heats up her leftover pasta.  
“Yeah, what’s wrong?” She looks very worried. But I can’t back down now. I have to go through with it.   
“...I’ve got something kinda personal to tell you... and no one else knows...” I lie “I’m- umm. I’m gay.” I finish.   
“Oh my god you scared me! I thought you got someone pregnant! Oh my god honey, that’s great. I’ll love you no matter what.” She breathing heavy like she had just ran a marathon. Mom pulls me in for a tight hug and she rubs my back until the alarm goes off and she pulls her dinner out of the microwave.


	22. Simons POV

After dad and Nora got home I told them. I was a little hesitant because of dads homophobic jokes. But whatever I know he doesn’t mean anything by them. And to be honest he handled it pretty well. Nora just nodded and hugged me. But ever since I told my mom I’ve been itching to text Bram. So after that “Simon Spier Family Support Group” ended I sent him a quick text  
____

hey, u free tomorrow? I gotta tell u something.

____

He finally responds after what feels like an eternity. For all I know the world outside my room is ending, it’s www3, and Oreos have gone extinct.  
But none of that matters right now.

____

yeah I’m good, there’s a coffee shop on main street if u wanna go. I don’t think we’ll run into anyone we know there :)

____

I respond before I’m even processing the information. Is it bad that someone I just met has such authority over me? Well that’s not true, I’ve been emailing “Blue” for months. He hardly qualifies as a stranger anymore.

____

sounds good

____

I respond and go to sleep.


	23. Brams POV

It’s amazing how I manage to feel anxious and comfortable in his presence. Amazing how just the sight of him can get my heart pumping. And as I walk in the coffee shop all I see is him.  
He sits at a table in the far left of the rustic caffe, he’s bent over his phone with his back to me. I debate just walking back out the door and pretend like something came up. But no, I have to tell him, I have to tell him I came out. Why is this so hard?  
“Hey.” I say as I walk over sit down across from him.  
“Hi.” He smiles and puts down his phone.  
“Umm... I’ve got something to tell you...” I begin.  
“Oh. Okay, me too. You go first.” He responds eagerly.  
“I came out to my mom.” I hold my breath waiting for his response.  
“Oh my god that’s great!” He says proudly. He’s proud of me. Me! His smile is overpowering and contagious. Within seconds I’m grinning ear to ear.  
“So what was it? That you wanted to tell me?” I question still smiling  
“Well now it doesn’t seem that big, but I came out to my parents too.”  
“Are you kidding? That’s huge?” I respond. Now I’m proud of him.   
“So... are we going to tell people we’re together now...? Or...?” He’s hesitates.  
“I’m good if you are.” I dont break eye contact when I say it.   
“I am.” He says leaning back in his chair.  



End file.
